Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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