this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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