You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
