ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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