Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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