piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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