i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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