I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
