somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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