weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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