I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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