Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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