At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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