Dual....:-)
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
