Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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