I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she peed on how many people?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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