Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
