Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
