Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
