dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
