Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love having hate sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
