i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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