I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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