So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
