So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
