I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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