Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize