Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
