Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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