so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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