she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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