The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
