We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
