I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
