Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
