you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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