she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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