opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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