i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
