What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
