are you still at the devil's house?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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