It's just like the Real World with babies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
