I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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