I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
