I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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