she looked like the before picture.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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