I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
