For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
