Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
