That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize