i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
