I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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