Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
