Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
