it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
