i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
