When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
