Pappa wants mamma naked
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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