Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
pray to the hookup gods
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize