Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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