Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
