I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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